Sunday, July 31, 2005

Things I've learned...

The fact that I've stolen these from various places does not make them less true...

I've learned that:

* One good turn gets most of the blankets.
* No matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
* Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
* You shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
* Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
* Not to sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
* Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
* We are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
* 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
* There is a fine line between genius and insanity.
* There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
* That no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
* The most valuable function performed by the federal government is
entertainment.
* You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
* The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
* There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
* People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them
* Nobody is normal.
* You should not confuse your career with your life.
* Never take a laxitive and a sleep aid on the same night.

posted by addict @ 5:46 PM |

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